Turn the grill on ‘High’. Come back in and turn every radio and television to the race with the volume all the way up. Run back out and dump 10 pounds of rubber bands on the grill. Bring the grill inside. Sit in front of the television with chicken wings and longnecks. Throw chicken bones at the screen for full effect.

By George Heritier with photograph assistance from Kim Adams, Boyce Brannock and Steve South